Question from Nicky S.: Why did that bad person come into my life? Why was she/he so bad to me, when I was so giving and helpful?
Veronica Hope: I think the reality is much richer than just two opposites: right or wrong, good or bad. I also believe that any person, who came into your life, was near you for a reason. Any relationship is a great way to understand yourself better and a great way to learn.
You cannot be mad at teacher who teaches you a new subject in school. I’m seeing Life is a great school, where each of us can be a “student” or “teacher”, or, even both, at the same time. To see this, we just have to come above so easily coming judgment: right or wrong; good or bad and realise what is the lesson behind it that can you learn.
To illustrate this idea, below you can find a fragment of my article that I wrote a while ago. It contains a real story that has happened in my life. Please, read it. It may help you understand better what I’m talking about. “It is easy to be quick in your decisions: if somebody is good to you – this person is nice. If somebody says to you something that makes you feel uncomfortable, or even hurts you – this person isn’t on your list of favourites. This way of living your life looks like a good instinct to have at first glance.
Nevertheless, is this way of dividing people as good or bad the wise one? Does it serve you in a way of internal growth and development? Does this point of view help you to become a better person? In addition, the most importantly, does it make you happy? So many questions… what is the correct response?
I don’t want to say that I know the right answer, but I know for sure, whatever people or “unfair’ situations came into my life, everything and everyone was for the best…. for my best.
I remember in the beginning of my teaching career, there was a woman that I considered to be my very good friend. When I found a good place to work, I did everything so she was able to work there too. I was teaching her and shared with her everything: my knowledge, my visions, experience and even my students. It felt so good to give, to share. I was truly happy. Moreover, so was she.
Nevertheless, some changes began to happen with my friend’s appearance at our work place. Slowly but surely she began to act like she was the only one who knew what to do and how to do it. She took all of my ideas that I had shared with her, and without any changes, presented it as hers to our coordinator. To make this story short, she got a much better position, which I worked hard for. “Her” bright ideas were big part of it.
To say I was disappointed does not cover how I felt. My entire world, whatever I believed in, was ruined. I thought it was unfair, insensitive, selfish, thoughtless, mean, unkind or ungrateful. I was sure she was the worst person I have ever known. I couldn’t hear her name. I cut her out of my life. She was the bad one.
I had a few options in my mind for my future actions in that situation. My final decision was to simply do better than her. Not for the position that was already taken, but for myself. If I was able to come up with very good ideas, who’s to say that I cannot be even more creative and come up with better ones?
Did I succeed? Yes, I did! But more importantly, I learned. And the lesson was very clear: I was pushed beyond my comfort zone and it made me find my inner power and potential. I was pushed to dig deeper into my very essence in order to know: I’m creative, very powerful and bright person who is capable to deal with many challenges. This woman didn’t come back to my life. I didn’t see any reason for it. However, after some time I was able to feel thankful to her, and to appreciate her attitude and behavior in the beginning of my career. She helped me to understand that I’m capable of succeeding, no matter what.
Today I admire my friends or people who I am close to. I honestly do. I appreciate all of those who are able to find proper and supportive words in difficult situations. I’m happy with those who don’t speak much, yet provide invisible but strong shoulders that are always nearby when I need it. I’m really thankful to all who are happy when I’m doing really well. I love you my dear friends.
On the other hand, I think I was blessed with people who challenged me. Those who helped me to find inner strength and power that I thought I would never have. I’m really grateful to all the people who took me from my comfort zone and helped me to find myself, my happier self. . All the lessons that I had learned from them helped me to become the person that I am right now.
If somebody smiles at you, it doesn’t mean he is your friend. If one pushes you in your back, he is not always your enemy. This person may push you beyond your comfort zone and help you to become a better variation of yourself. He is your teacher, sometimes without realising it. If you are able to see it, you can change your life to the best and be much happier! Would you be able to see it as a gift in your life?…